Dating someone who has a child
We decided to wait six months before my first meeting with his girls: a trip to the arcade at Castle Park in Sherman Oaks. “He’s a director,” I told my friend L., absently fiddling with the lighter in my hand. We went to Club 33 at Disneyland and he treated me to couples massages and pool time at the Four Seasons spa. I was starting to wonder what our relationship would look like when it became a story for four, instead of two.For now, I’m just available, playful in my own way, and practicing patience.You may be confused about your role or what to expect.Dating someone who has a child from a previous marriage introduces many complicated issues.
“I know it’s against your nature,” she said,”but when it comes to his kids, be a cat, not a dog. (Beth Reno)David’s daughters are sweet and smart, loving and funny and generous and affectionate … I tried to relax, think of the stretch of time ahead of us, remind myself there’s no rush.But it’s still hard sometimes, and I think about Jennifer’s advice quite a bit. Instead, I find hundreds of articles about how to advance and evolve, take steps forward.For me, however, progress has come only with a practice of restraint: Relax like a cat and take a step back.The first time I attended a school play, David’s daughter came out after the show.
I wanted to run over and hug her, give her the flowers we brought, congratulate her on a good performance — until I saw her mom and realized that my desires were tertiary.
The girls come first, their parents second, and I’m a distant third. I took a physical step back and let their mom have the moment. Even now, out of respect for the girls’ privacy, I self-limit sharing stories.